Monday, January 6, 2014

Finding Inspiration

There comes a time where all you want to do is get away, escape this life and start a new one, close the chapter, walk out the door, get on the ledge and just...
Let go ~ and Fly.
Sometimes no matter how hard you try you can't forget the past, run away from it or pretend all the wrongs didn't happen.  You can only keep moving forward, admit your mistakes and realize you only have the Happy you make, not someone else.
What makes you happy?  That's a million dollar question, loaded with possibilities, all the right with a little wrong and a question only you can truly answer from inside.  You can always be given a smile on the outside, but it's the one on the inside that will never be forgotten. 
Though the past can sometimes haunt you, it's not always the nightmares that we avoid, it's the things that make us hold on that we can't shake.  It's the tenderness that only a certain person can give, the way they remember how to kiss you, touch the side of your face, lift your chin, hold your hair at the back of your neck, how when they hug you they don't want to let you go, the warmth of their body next to yours, the only person that kisses you on the forehead and tells you how much they will always Love You with their eyes.  The eyes that look deep inside you without letting go, they don't look away and when you say your goodbyes it's the one thing that you never take for granted because the past you have, has taught you one thing...
That goodbye could actually be just that for awhile. 
There's always One, just One that makes the whole world stop when you're with them.  That one is usually the "Bad" one, the one who lives up to the reputation of everything naughty and nothing really nice, the one that is the true meaning of "heart breaker", that One that will forever be embedded in your heart.  Somehow we forget one little thing -- if we weren't as special to them as they are to us -- they wouldn't be coming back either.  How do we wind up in the same place?  We say, well it didn't work and it was what it was, but yet here we both are still with Love, Unconditional acceptance and still finding each other.
There has to be something...something that still holds us together.
When I'm down, you have a way of picking me up, when I'm lonely you'll hug me and hold me, when I'm scarred you'll kiss my forehead and tell me everything will be ok and when I need someone to Love me, make me feel like I'm the only gal that exists, you put me on top of the world.  I call you and you kiss me like I'm the only one for you - you have a way of making me feel desirable, sexy and priceless.  Somehow ONLY You can do that to me, there's never been another that can make feel exactly the way you do.
We go through the world finding laughs, smiles, sadness, tears and always hoping there will be someone to fill that void so we don't step backwards.  But, it doesn't always happen that way, sometimes we do step back and for all the Right reasons.  It's those times that the "Bad" boy I tried to stay away from wins because he makes me find inspiration, he makes me remember who I am, how I CAN feel, what it means to Love, to Want and to be Desired.  He makes me remember that happiness doesn't have to be searched out, it's actually right there when you're with the right person who knows how to bring it out of you.  It's those times that the "Bad" boy is really the Right guy just seen in a different light, I won't let your secret out of the bag.  For the last 8 years it's been the same ol' thing, but the one thing that has kept my heart warm, my hopes up and inside knowing I can be treated better then I currently am is that whenever I need you, you're here and you always bring me back to finding inspiration within myself, in our Love and pushing me to never give up with or without you.  But deep inside I know we'll be together for the rest of our lives, what would inspiration be if we didn't truly have someone that inspired us in the first place.
09/2013


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