The Untitled Me...

There's so many thoughts, cares, decisions and passing moments that go through me daily, hourly, every minute.  They can take a moment or they can corrupt, but they are at times not different then my own worries or concerns.  I take a look at the past, some I tend to block out, I don't want to remember, others I file away they will come to make me happy or haunt me later.  I don't know why it's so hard to let go, it's just me.  Maybe for some of it I'm not ready to move on, let go of or forget.  
It's like my book doesn't have a title, just chapters out of order and some with blank pages.  At times it seems my chapter isn't really closed, it's like it's left with a question mark at the end of the last page.  I don't like those chapters, the unfinished, the unknowing, the ones that are left for something more to happen to.  I'm happier and more content with a chapter ending with a finalization, and exclamation point, a period, end of discussion.  Those are the chapters that will forever be closed, the ones I can file away and be happy with the outcome.  But isn't that what our life holds, sometimes the uncertainty, of what will come back, what is lost forever and what we still need and hold on to?
For me I've come to the point where my book (my life) doesn't have a title, it's lost and out of order chapters are what moves me to want better for myself, my head, my heart and my soul.  My book may be a mess, much like the author, but it's truth, it's real and it's raw. Maybe you'll read and try to understand, maybe you'll  page through and not care, but for me it's who I am, what I'm made of and how I've come to be.  Like anyone else, no one can  truly understand my mind, but with love and acceptance and just a little compassion you can appreciate what I've gone through and be there to be a steady hand, maybe that's all I need after all.  True sometimes I'm a mess, beside myself, on the edge and ready to give in, but all it takes are a few words spoken from a heart that really cares...
I'm here, lean on me, let me help you and I Love You no matter what.
Isn't that all we ever want to hear in that darkest hour, is that there's real love to pull us through just about anything.  So I'm here and I just want a solid place to be, a safe place, a place where all that matters is getting to tomorrow -- together.