Hope...

So there's good days and bad.
On my good days, my mind is quiet, I'm relaxed, I can be alone and I'm actually "O-K".  On my bad days, the screaming from the one that lives in my head doesn't stop, my imagination can run crazy wild - writing chapters in a book that doesn't even exist and I'm a great big mess (not in a cute country or hot mess way).
But I've come to realize there's...Hope.
That one simple thing, so small, sometimes not relied on, but it's there, hope.  I can feel so down, get so depressed I can sleep days away, yes days not just a day as in 24 hours, but days.  I can actually cut myself down to nothing, me, alone, I can do more damage to myself then anyone on the outside of my own skin.  At the bottom of that dark ride, there's a tiny light, sometimes so dim we don't even notice it, I know I don't, and it's just shinning, waiting for you to come up for air.  Hope.
And I'm slowly learning as my mind and days progress that I'm "In Hopes" that tomorrow will be better, I will find all my strength and I will pull from it and make it easier, for me.  It's not that big a deal, right?!?! To some, No it's not, but for me, it may be the challenge of a lifetime at that specific moment, so I turn to hope.  I make myself see the light, go to it and breath, one deep breath at a time and my mind relaxes and I find that little bit of hope, to know it's not that bad, it will be ok and I need it to start here, inside me.
Today, if I get pulled down I'll find what I need, the tools in my heart, not my mind to pull me back to the love I know it'll turn out the way it's meant to be. 
After all that's all we really can do, when we've given our all, we just put it out there and...Hope for the best.