The days you've left behind are empty and full of tears, I don't think I ever get through one thinking of you that doesn't bring my eyes to water. It's been rough, almost 6 months and I still expect your excited self at the door when I come home from work. I still look under the bed, expecting to see you rolled in a ball in your bed, or your legs stretched out and hanging off. I still expect...you, physically, You. The nights are lonely without you curled up right next to me, in and out of the covers, the disturbed sleep, yet I slept so good. You, it's all I need, the missing piece, the part to make my heart whole, just you.
I know how much I took your love for granted, I know how many times I said not now, I know...and it makes this even tougher. All those times, all the not nows, all the time away, I'd give anything to have those back - I Miss you. It's a long and hard road that I travel now, an emptiness lives inside me like I've never known, you completed me in so many ways I can never explain. I miss you. I remember the days of happiness, your back tongue kisses, your head in my lap and the sound of your snoring. I Remember all too well. The walks, the groomer, the vet, the pet store, the babies and how much you loved ice cream. I remember all too well. The look in your eyes when I was sick, after thyroid cancer surgery or on the days I just couldn't get out of bed. You were there, I remember it all too well, like it was yesterday. 11 years you gave to me, the love you never held back on and that can never be replaced with the life I'm living now. I will forever miss you.
When the news came in about your sickness, the lil pup body that was no longer the same frisky one you'd always been, it was the toughest. To know there was nothing I could do, only pills the ease the pain and to love and hold you everyday. I prayed, I sang to you, I kissed and loved you, every moment of everyday trying not to think of what was to come. 11 years could never fill the time that 2 months took, the happiness I tried filling myself with would only bring more tears to fall. The day came when it was no longer in my ability to keep you going, though I tried and I fought, time was finally up. You looked at me with eyes wide, a peace within them and I know that was suppose to give me a little peace inside. It did not. I look back on the days and weep from the moments that I wish I could have did everything wrong, I'm told I did everything Icould and I was the best mom. I tired. But my little one I hope that one day I can see your tongue out, panting face, I can feel your slobbery back tongue kiss and that you will paw me again just like the yesterday I try to hard not to forget. One day...at the rainbow bridge. No emotion can fill the emptiness of missing you, only the love you gave me that I keep close tries everyday to let one tear less escape. But my heart will still tighten and my throat will still close - I Miss you.
Pudgy every single fucking day - I Miss YOU!
When the news came in about your sickness, the lil pup body that was no longer the same frisky one you'd always been, it was the toughest. To know there was nothing I could do, only pills the ease the pain and to love and hold you everyday. I prayed, I sang to you, I kissed and loved you, every moment of everyday trying not to think of what was to come. 11 years could never fill the time that 2 months took, the happiness I tried filling myself with would only bring more tears to fall. The day came when it was no longer in my ability to keep you going, though I tried and I fought, time was finally up. You looked at me with eyes wide, a peace within them and I know that was suppose to give me a little peace inside. It did not. I look back on the days and weep from the moments that I wish I could have did everything wrong, I'm told I did everything Icould and I was the best mom. I tired. But my little one I hope that one day I can see your tongue out, panting face, I can feel your slobbery back tongue kiss and that you will paw me again just like the yesterday I try to hard not to forget. One day...at the rainbow bridge. No emotion can fill the emptiness of missing you, only the love you gave me that I keep close tries everyday to let one tear less escape. But my heart will still tighten and my throat will still close - I Miss you.
Pudgy every single fucking day - I Miss YOU!
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