Soooooo as much as I preach about protecting your heart, shield it, don't let down the guard on your heart til it's a for sure thing. I did not practice what I preached!
I have only myself to be pissed at. I know better.
So the game of hearts you decided to play was with me, I have played this game several times and have lost, convinced that I now could play this hand and keep my cards close to me until I was ready to show them - I made the brutal mistake of showing my hand the very first round. All hearts.
Fuck!
What happened, you took them, used them in your hand and cleaned the table, and disappeared. - Fuck!
I know this game, sooooo well. I know how to play it, I've lost to it before, WTF?!
WTF?! Happened!!!
I got so wrapped up in the moment of hopefulness, of finding what I have missed, the void that could be filled. The sweet words, the feelings that were shared, the same road, the chemistry, the attraction... Was all of it that much of a lie?!
Did I get played that well?!
What happened?!
Days of shared thoughts, feelings, wants...
Then it all just disappeared...
Just like that it just vanished, I didn't even have time to blink, you were just gone...
All my cards in your hand...My heart crushed...
I should know better...I was told to be better, I KNOW to be better, but you weakened me, I let you and I have no one to blame for that except me. I gave you the power to hold my heart and crush it.
I need to be more careful with such a delicate part of me..
Next time...I will hold my cards close and I will not play my hearts until you truly deserve and can prove that you will not walk away from the table.
